A short calligraphic experiment I made. It didn’t turned out the way I wanted, but I guess it’s a first try. I wanted to write about my fears of being alive, of not finding a purpose or not living a worthy life. But I feel like I only turned in circles..it’s almost like a metaphor to the life I’m talking about, turning in circles, turning and turning and not really going anywhere, waiting for the release - the goal, the purpose and sense - that is yet to come.
I stopped telling myself that I’m lost.
I’m on a road with no destination, I’m just driving with hope that I’ll find a place that I like and I’ll stay there.
I’m not lost, I’m on my way.
Any drawing suggestions?!
Taking a selfie, I always find it difficult to recognize myself in the picture. Being taken a photo of myself generally feels a bit strange. Is this really the same person as I am, I ask myself, while I look at the picture on the tiny screen. Sometimes my face looks extremely wide, sometimes extremely narrow. And of course, most of the time, I see all those imperfections, those hairs that shouldn’t belong where they grow, those dark circles under my eyes, those little pimples, little signs of bad skin. I got a new SLR (single lens reflex camera) and I regularly try to take pictures of myself, looking directly into the lens, which is wide and dark with my own reflection in the center of it. It reminds me of a human eye, the camera reminds me of a human being. I guess that’s why I try to look directly into its eye, trying to open up my soul to it. But when I look at the picture taken, most of the time, I don’t want to believe what this human being, what everybody seems to see when they look at me. I think the problem with photos is that it lacks motions. It lacks sound, smell and touch. From my part. And from the eye that is watching me. That’s why this single picture is not representative of yourself. But then again, this one picture, this freeze of time, is one little part in a series of millions of pictures. Added up, they create my living self. Knowing that and also being aware of the fact that some human beings love me, some people find me beautiful, I find it hard to really hate that picture, to dislike that frozen moment, because it is part of the million pictures that make me who I am.